I've been rather absent on the blog front lately. It's been a busy December and January, visiting and catching up with as many family and friends as possible. It was a much-needed break and joyful holiday season, but I am ready, and have been waiting, to return to Love & Hope.
Spending time in the States was wonderful, but a few days after Christmas I got the itch to return to sunny Central America and the love, smiles, hugs, and hustle & bustle of raising twenty-four kids. As time wore on, I became increasingly anxious (or angstful, as I call it) to leave.
I stayed because I had made a promise to friends I dearly love, but with each passing day and flight prices slowly rising, it seemed less likely that I would be able to keep it. God, as always, was trying to teach me trust, patience, and humility.
And despite allowing my anxiety to get the better of me, by buying a plane ticket before fulfilling my promise, God blessed me. I am going back to El Salvador just a few days later than expected, and a day after purchasing my flight, little Max was born.
Loving two places and the many people who make those places worth loving is difficult. When I am in El Salvador, I miss my U.S. family. When I am in the U.S., I miss my Salvadoran family. I can't imagine what it will feel like to leave Love & Hope in June. I know it won't be for good because I plan to visit as often as possible, but to leave without knowing when I will return...the thought makes my stomach sink like I'm on a roller coaster.
But for now, I am ready to get back to my life in a country hundreds of miles away, where they speak a different language, have unfamiliar customs, and call me
gringa, where there are kids and an organization that need me and people (more than I ever anticipated) that care for me. It's where half my heart is and that makes it home.