the accident: part four

While Rachel, God bless her, stays at the scene to deal with the police and insurance agent, Kelly and Maria finally convince the police that I am in shock and will not be able to answer any questions until I receive medical care. The nearest hospital is only five minutes from the crash site, so Maria and her nephew transport Kelly and me in her car. I feel like one of El Salvador's Top Ten Most Wanted, as two policemen follow us, posting themselves outside the emergency room doors to make sure I don't cut and run. Thus began the greatest comedy of errors that I have ever experienced. Here are a few of the highlights:

1) When Kelly registered me with the emergency room desk attendant, he asked, "What is your relation to the patient? Mother? Sister? Aunt?" 

"We're not related."

"So you're nothing?" he asked, indignantly. 

To which Kelly sarcastically replied, "Sister in Christ." 

And the attendant, on his circa 1970 typewriter, actually typed out "Hermana en Cristo" on the registration form.

2) Maria insisted I sit and remain in a wheelchair. As the hospital is a series of disconnected buildings, we had to leave the emergency room for x-rays. And, of course, the radiography lab wasn't next door, but a quarter mile, forty-five degree, downhill walk. Kelly had to wheel me backwards, at a snail's pace, down the potholed asphalt road, so I wouldn't fall out of the chair. 

3) Before my x-rays, Rachel called with good news. The accident wasn't my fault! A witness returned to testify that the other driver lost control, hit my front wheel, causing me to lose control and swerve into the oncoming lane. In fact, I almost hit the witness' car, but managed to turn the wheel at the last second (I don't remember any of this). Here's the police sketch of the accident:

A: Position at point of impact for the other driver
B: My position at point of impact
1: Final position of the other driver
2: My final position

4) At one point that evening, Rachel, Kelly, the insurance agent, several policemen, the man who hit me, the doctors, and probably a few others, stood in a clump in the middle of the emergency room conversing about insurance, legal and medical matters. I lounged in my wheelchair at the edge of the conglomerate, wishing they would all (with the exception of Rachel and Kelly) disappear and I could go home. It was amazing to me that all these conversations had to happen RIGHT NOW, in a public setting, surrounded by the acutely ill and injured.

5) When reviewing my x-rays, the doctors simply remained in the middle of the emergency room, holding them up to the dim, yellow, ceiling lights, for the whole world to see. Everyone else in the room examined them too, concluding, along with the doctors, that did not have broken bones or a fractured skull.

6) Near the end of the adventure, the doctor examined my breathing, eyes and ears (I had lost partial hearing in my left ear). While she was recording her observations she had an intern take my blood pressure. Since I was chatting with Rachel and Kelly, I didn't pay attention to the intern's actions until he squeezed my very swollen left elbow. "OUCH!" I loudly exclaimed. The doctor, still looking down at her report, rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, "The OTHER arm." And the embarrassed intern jumped to remove the cuff and move it to my right arm.

I am sure there are many anecdotes I am forgetting, but needless to say, after the shock of the accident had passed and the burden of guilt was lifted, Rachel, Kelly and I had a lot to laugh about. While the accident was traumatic, it couldn't have turned out any better. I thank God for his many blessings that evening and that I now have one helluva good story to share.